I don't understood why Jake puts Cheezewiz on celery ... and likes it.

In fact, the whole concept of Cheezewiz boggles my mind.

I don't understand why some people put hooks in their back so they can be suspended by their skin as a form of pleasure. I'm not knocking it (I fully support creative methods of entertainment) - but I still don't understand it.

I don't understand how we got here. Not in this house but all of us in this whole world. Big Bang? Adam and Eve? Aliens? I just don't get it. Sometimes I think about this too much and it makes my head hurt.

I don't understand why I'm (after all these years) still afraid of the dark. ...And dolls with unusually long arms.

I don't understand CarrotTop. Period.

I don't understand how someone can hit their own child. Or spouse. I understand the anger, I just don't understand the action.

I don't understand Spam. I still don't know exactly what it is. I like to be able to put my foods in categories. And new commercials about it, frankly, scare me. For that very fact, I will never, ever try it.

I don't understand war or genocide. I really try to makes sense of it (not justify it at all ... just explain it) and, for the life of me, I can't come up with an adequate reason for its occurence. "It didn't need to happen. There is always another way" - is the only conclusion I come to. However, we need to put our egos aside to realize it.

Although I understand why people die, I still don't like it.

Lastly, and the real reason behind this entry ... I don't understand why a good man who has a beautiful girlfriend who he loves immensely would cheat on her because he likes women so much - he just can't limit himself to one.

I don't understand at what point women became analogous to a bag of Herrs potato chips.

I don't understand. And this bothers me. Since I now have this information, I don't know what I should do. All night, it ate away at me. I asked Jake for help ... but he said this was my call. It's my moral dilemna ... he's not bothered by it because, I think, he feels ultimately it isn't any of our business.

But I know her. I know this woman. I see her often. And now I know her boyfriend of almost five years (the boyfriend who says he wants to marry her) cheats on her with many different woman on a regular basis.

I'm in turmoil now. If it were your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse ... how would you feel if someone who looked you in the face almost everyday knew this kind of information - but never said a word?

But I like this man. In fact, I would call him a friend. But I like his girlfriend as well. And, even if I didn't, I refuse to participate in deception. Especially in the realm of love ... when someone's heart is at stake.

Besides, what are the odds that - out of the thousands of diaryland members -I just happen to randomly start reading the diary of a girl he just slept with that night? I mean pure random chance. And that, this girl, was so descriptive - that it was a positive identification. She described his house, his room, his girlfriend, his appearance, his location so well that my jaw immediately dropped and I was beside myself. She basically gave his name, address and social security number.

I have never read the diary of another person from Delaware before. Ever.

I don't understand many things. But one thing I do understand is fate.

When, I confronted him with this information, although he denied it, the look on his face told me it was true.

He asked me where I read it ... what site. "That's wild", he said. "What a coincidence".

I checked her diary again this morning. That entry had been deleted.

And another, less favorable one, in its place.

I don't understand how good people can make such bad mistakes. Can screw up such amazing things in their lives for no real reason.

Yep, there are so many things I don't understand.

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