2003-01-24
Can you believe two entries in one day???

I know. It's all so exciting.

Really I'm just mind-numbingly bored. I have nothing to do today. Jake is out on a client call. The house is empty. I'm killing time before my aerobics class.

I need purpose, dammit.

Tried to brush my cat. It didn't work out. Apparently, cats don't like brushes. Who knew.

Then, I reorganized our glasses according to height.

Yep, I'm that bored.

So, I was thinking about my perfect life. Not the life I want ... but the life that is like a picture postcard. Really pretty to look at from afar.

Basically, I was thinking about when I was in high school ... and what my girlfriends and I would talk about our lives were going to be like when we grew older.

I don't know about boys (because, oddly enough, I've never been one) but it seemed that me and my friends spent an awful lot of time thinking about our "perfect" lives.

Things have changed a little since then. Back in high school, we all wanted to marry brothers and live in the same neighborhood.

Thank god this didn't happen. The logistics of this aside, it dangles too much on the incestuous side for me. Sounded good in theory but not really applicable in reality.

Which holds true for many of the characteristics of my perfect life.

Anyway, for your reading enjoyment, here are some of the things that I would love to exist in my theorectical life:

1. I would love to be a morning person. I would love, without the blaring of an ear-drum busting alarm clock, to be able to pop out of bed -shiny, happy and ready to take on the world. I could take that 7:30 aerobics class, have time to enjoy a paper and coffee, and even have great morning sex ... all before 9:30am.

However, in reality, when given the option to exericse, eat, drink or even mate over partaking in a precious few moments of sweet, sweet REM ... I gotta say ... sleep always wins.

I'm like addicted. I think I'm part bear.

2. I would know how to make a good martini. I don't even like to drink martinis ... but they seem cool to me for some reason. I think it's a James Bond thing. Once, I went to a really jazzy martini bar with my friends. I paid $8.00 for a chocolate martini (which, by the way, is deceptive because it doesn't taste like chocolate AT ALL.) I didn't drink it because I couldn't stand the taste. However, I must say, I did look pretty classy with it in my hand. But then again, I was drunk. I alway think I'm classy when I'm drunk.

3. I would grow my own food and make my own clothes. Now, considering that I killed my "air" plant (which is a plant that only needs air to live ... lord knows how I managed to muff that one up), growing my own food might pose a small problem. And, as far as sewing my own clothes, well ... we already know how motor skill deficient I am. Need I refer you back to the superglue incident.

4. I would live in Bali. In a hut. In a tropical rainforest. Okay, I've never been to Bali. Don't really know much about it. It's probally a war torn country ripe with human rights violation ... however, in my head, it's this colorful, beautiful lush tropical paradise where everyone wears white linen.

However, although in theory, living in a hut sounds pretty cool ... I don't think a hut gets cable. And I can't live without the Learning Channel.

5. I'd have one of those cool rock-waterfall pools that I always see in "Cribs" on MTV. Honestly, I would model my house after Tommy Lee's. I really liked it. Odd isn't? I never thought I would share my decorating tastes with any member of Motely Crue. Crazy. Except that I wouldn't have that naked mural of Pamela Anderson in my house. Angelina Jolie, maybe. Pamela, definitely not.

I know this in conflict with my Bali-hut dream ... but, the way I see it, the Bali thing can be my summer home. My "country" house, if you will. Or, I guess, more aptly - my "rainforest" house.

And, besides, it's my dreams. They don't have to make sense. Just go with it.

6. I would run a marathon. Or maybe even the tri-antholan. Okay, this will never, ever happen. But, for some reason, I've always wanted to do it. I think it's a vestige leftover from my extremely brief track days. That ... or I just subconsciously like pain.

7. I could bend things with my mind. How much fun would that be at parties???

8. I would be an extremely gifted ballroom dancer. Again, this is a coolness thing. There is something appealing when a person can just break into the tango at a moment's notice. Instead, my mom had me take 13 years of tap. Nothing appealing about being able to break into the buffalo shuffle. Just to recap: Ballroom Dancing = cool. Tap= not cool.

9. I would own a bed and breakfast and serve Mimosas every Sunday with my jazz brunch. I got the Mimosa thing down. I got the jazz thing down. I got the brunch thing down. Now, if I could just get a bed and breakfast ... The only bad thing about this is that you can't really screen the people who come to stay with you. What if they are REALLY annoying? Maybe I'll just settle for having breakfast in bed while drinking mimosas and listening to jazz. I think that sounds better.

Okay, I'm hungry now ... so I'm going to stop. Besides, Oprah is on. Can't miss Oprah.

Anyway, I thank you kindly for taking this time out to spend with me. Good company is always a pleasure.

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