2003-03-08
I was at a party about six years ago. Not the kind of party that people go to celebrate - but to escape. The house was dark and unkempt. The furniture was sparse and the walls, which I'm sure were white at one time, now were dull and grey. Alot like the people.

Sitting in the corner having just taken a tablet of Ecstasy, I closed my eyes trying to either forget about the world or myself. Not quite sure which.

My focus was on feeling better. Any manner possible.

This guy comes up to me. Completely sober. Dressed like he just stepped out of a board meeting or a charity event. And looking strangely out of place in a house filled with heavy-lidded, muttering drug users.

I say it was a guy only in retrospect. At the time, my eyes were closed and I was lost in my head. Although I sensed someone was near me, I really didn't care all that much.

Then I heard this voice.

"You don't belong here".

That got me to open my eyes.

There he was standing right in front of me - looking me dead straight in the eyes. There was no mistaking it .. he was talking to me.

Normally, I would have taken offense to what he said because it was vague enough to be misinterpreted. It could be that I didn't belong there because he didn't like me ... or because I didn't seem to fit with my surrondings.

Could be good or bad depending on his meaning.

However, by this time, the drug was kicking in - so I was feeling very open-minded about the whole situation.

Then this well-dressed, well-mannered man extends his hand to me and says: "Hi, I'm Kusha. I'm here visiting my friend, Adam. And I would very much like to take you out of here."

I thought what a great pickup line. Much better than "How do you like your breakfast?" or "Your dress would look great crumpled up on my bedroom floor."

Those are real gems.

But something about this man made me immediately trust him. Maybe it's because he looked so out of place that it was obvious that he didn't come there to get high or drunk or laid.

He honestly seemed like he was there by sheer happenstance. A normal man thrown into a very abnormal environment.

Also, I was rolling my face off at the time. And "E" does tend to make everyone seem fuzzy and warm.

Whatever the reason, I left with him. Only next door to Adam's house (who was also a friend of mine.)

So, we get into Adam's living room and he sits me down on the couch while he sits on the chair farthest away from me. Like he wanted to make sure that I knew that he didn't have any ulterior motives. That his only intention was that he genuinely wanted to take me out of there.

And then he begins talking to me. Beyond talking, I think. He begins infusing me with his perspective on the world.

He tells me he knew the moment he looked at me that I didn't belong in that place. That I must running away, hiding or trying to forget something. Whatever the reason, he said, being there wouldn't make anything any better.

He told me to leave. To stay very far away from any of this. To get out and move up.

He said that I had the whole world waiting for me out there.

The whole freakin' world.

All I had to do was to walk outside.

"You are so much more than this", he said. "And, if a complete stranger can see this, I don't know how you can't. Trust me. You are meant for better things."

The whole night he talked to me like this. I sat there, quietly absorbing it.

And obsessively rubbing a red velvet pillow which, in my drug-induced state, was fastly becoming the single most pleasurable experience in my young life.

Never once did he try to touch me. Or kiss me. Or even ask for my number.

Just as the sun was coming up, he told me about a girl he had met just a week ago. He said that he knew he loved her even before he ever spoke a word to her.

He said that people have energies all around them. Buzzing and crackling.

Maybe it's auras. Maybe it's intuition. Who knows. But, often, people give off a vibe. Sometimes, you can instantly feel if a person is hot or cold. Bad or good. Lost or found.

That's what he felt with me. And this girl. This sense that there was something bigger than you and me and him. Something way bigger.

At this point, I'm coming down and feeling very uncomfortable. My jaw hurts, my head hurts .. even my brain hurts. All I can think about is looking for a warm, soft place to fall.

I gather my stuff and get ready to walk home. Kusha offers to drive me but I decline. I think I needed the walk to let things sink in. It had been a very intense night for me.

As we say our goodbyes, Kusha shakes my hand again. It seemed very intimate to me because he hadn't touched me that entire night. Not even accidentally brushed me knee.

"Good luck", he tells me. "Really, good luck. You got alot of things to do with your life. Make sure you do them."

As I'm walking away and down the street, I realize that I never even told him my name.

Fast forward, five and half years later. Adam and his girlfriend, now living in North Carolina, are stopping by for a visit en route to New York. It's Kusha's wedding. He's marrying the girl that he knew he loved before he ever spoke to her.

Adam and I are sitting at my kitchen table as they are about to leave. I tell Adam to tell Kusha thank you from Keryanna.

Adam asks for what.

I say for a night five and half years ago when he helped me change my life.

For every dick, prick and asshole I've come across in my life - there's an equally exceptional person to balance the scales.

I think we all have a Kusha lurking somewhere. Waiting to change our lives.

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