I am desperately trying to save a family's home.

Three days ago, a woman came into my office with her 13 year old son and 11 year old niece. She filed for bankruptcy. She had fallen behind on her mortgage and now, her house is in foreclosure and she is going to lose it in 15 days.

She wanted to come to our program. To make a fresh start. She was about to lose everything she had in her life. She is 56 years old.

This house has been in her family for 24 years. It is the only place her son has ever known. It is his stability. They have never been homeless. He has never lived in a shelter. Suffice to say, the 13 year old boy was not taking it very well.

Honestly, I wasn't worried about the mother. Although, to hear her story, you will immediately sympathize with her. She was in an abusive relationship. Her husband terribly physically abused her and committed a horrible sexual assault on the boy. The husband went to prison but got out in October. The checking account was still in both of their names and he decided to withdraw all their money and leave town. Leaving her broke and unable to pay her mortgage.

This is a very tragic story.

But, as the family sat there in my office, the mother wouldn't stop blaming people for all her problems. Mostly, she blamed the boy. The little thirteen year old boy.

She was angry because he didn't want to leave the house. She was angry because he wouldn't willingly comply and just leave everything he has behind and move, happily, into a shelter.

All the while, the boy just sat there near tears.

And then it was my turn to be angry.

How could she expect a 13 year old to understand??? How could she expect him to not fight the total upheaval of his life? He has already survived being dirt poor. He has already survived being physically and sexually abuse by his father. And NOW you want him to give up the only stability that he knows without any hesitation?

She told her son that she would put him in foster care if he didn't change his attitude because she wanted to come into the program.

I contained my feelings but I honestly wanted to strangle the woman.

And hug the little boy.

I told her that I wanted to save her house. And that I didn't think that moving into our program was the best option because she was choosing it out of desperation ... not because she wanted to become self-sufficient. She wasn't listening to her son - she was only blaming him for all that was wrong in her life.

I made an appointment for her to come back on Thursday to give me some time to work out a solution and try to save her house.

The best option I could come up with was to raise the $1,800 dollars she needed to stop her foreclosure. Then get her involved in a mortgage assistance program until she got back on her feet again while, simultaneoulsy, involving her in case management with our organization to help establish a budget, life skills etc so this would never happen again.

So I brought her back on Thursday. To figure out her expenses, I asked her to tell me her monthly bills. Same as everyone else: electric, water, cable, phone. The usual.

Then I substracted the amounted for cable and phone. I told her that, right now, they weren't necessities ... and I wanted to make sure that she has running water and electricity - the other utilities could wait for a bit.

She exploded at me. How can she live without cable???

I was astounded. I couldn't believe she was yelling at me because she didn't want to lose her cable.

And her son piped up and said "Mom, I told you, we don't need cable."

She gave him this glaring look that made my blood boil.

I asked her if she had ever asked any local churches for help. I needed to know that because the only way to raise the money was through donations by our local churches. If she asked a church before, I can't ask them again. They will only help out a family once.

She said she never asked anyone for money.

I told her about my plan. I was going to try to raise the money and save her house. She would then have to sign a contract stating that she would participate in case managment with us in exchange for our help.

She agreed.

I made an appointment with her for this Tuesday. By that time, I told her, I should have the money. I should be able to save her house.

Before they left, I took her son aside and gave him a hug. I told him that everything would be alright. That he could trust me. He wouldn't lose his house.

Then I started calling every place I could think of. However, she lied to me. She has repeatedly asked for assistance in the past and noone is willing to give her money again.

But, I say, it's not for her. It's for her 13 year old son that has kept his nose clean through all the pain and obstacles his life has brought him. He hasn't joined a gang. He's on honor roll in school. He wants to go to college and be a heart surgeon.

This is a good kid despite how bad life has been to him.

It's not his fault his parents are morons.

Then I tried to get a loan for them. But the mother hasn't worked in 30 years! She lives off disability. Apparently, she's bipolar. Personally, from my experience in psychology, psychiatrist are far too quick to diagnose someone as "bipolar". Every single applicant I have seen collects disability for being "bipolar". Majority of my friends claim they are "bipolar". My response to them, and to her, was you're not bipolar. Moody, maybe. Bipolar, no.

We are a population addicted to lithium and prozac.

We need to stop living behind the labels psychology gives us that excuse responsibilty for our behavior. And learn to cope with life.

As a society, we are in sore need of coping skills.

Anyway, back to my story. What if I help her find a job?, I asked. But she has to be working for at least a year before she applies for the loan. She doesn't have that kind of time. She has less than two weeks before she loses her house.

Her son said he would rather go to jail than come to a shelther. He said, if they lose the house, he's going to commit a crime so he gets put in a boy's home.

I feel like I have this boy's future laying squarely on my shoulders. And it's a heavy, heavy weight.

I spent all yesterday and all this morning calling around. Unfortunately, today is my day off ... and lots of other people's day off so most offices are closed .

Noone seems to be able to help.

Come Tuesday, I don't want to have to tell a little boy that he is going lose everything he has ever known. I don't want to tell him that I let him down.

I cried last night for him. I cried this morning for him.

And, right now, I am crying for him.

This is definitely not a good Friday.

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