This is my angry face.

Yeah, I know it's not very effective when you're staring at white space instead of an actual face ... but use your imagination. Pretend you're looking at a really pissed off 300 pound German Sumo wrestler.

Does Germany have Sumo wrestlers?

I didn't think so. But I wanted to evoke the image of something intimidating. And Sumo wrestlers are pretty intimidating. And pissed off ones even more so.

German has always intimidated me. Not the people. Only the language. Actually, anything in German scares the hell out of me. I think it's the accent. I told you about my family's stuttering German insurance salesmen when I was a kid, right? Anything he said a)TOOK FOREVER and b)sounded like he was cussing you out. He was a very nice man, don't get me wrong. But his accent was very harsh. He would always call me over to sit right next to him when he wanted to talk with me. I think either he was going deaf or he had major personal space issues.

It's not very pleasant to have a stuttering German man spitting in your face from a very close distance.

Or actually from a very far distance even.

I think I was left psychologically traumatized.

Till this day, I still get shivers when I hear someone say "strudel" or "oktoberfest".

Damn the insurance man. Damn him.

Oh, I forgot. I was telling you that I was angry.

Let me just tell you what happened today. Take a seat. And get ready for a facial because I'm about to let off some steam.

So, the woman and her son came into my office today. I was dreading it all morning. I called places up to the very moment she arrived trying to find someone to help her out. I thought maybe, in a pinch, something would come through.

But it didn't.

When she came into my office, Itold her straight away. I didn't want to waste anytime about it. I told her that it looked like she was going to have to lose her house because she had burned all her bridges. There was nothing I could do. I tried my best.

She EXPLODED at me. She started telling me that I didn't care about her. That I had lied to her and her son and that nothing I said meant anything.

She told me that I didn't know what it was like for them. That I was some prissy white girl from the suburbs that didn't know a damn thing about hardship. I didn't know what it was like to suffer.

She screamed in my face that all of this was my fault. That she hoped that I was happy with making her and her boy homeless. She said I had no compassion and that I shouldn't be in social work because I can't do my job because I don't care about people.

I just sat there. And didn't say a thing. There was no point. She was being irrational. She was upset and she decide to vent her frustration on me. So I took it. I didn't need to correct her. I really didn't have anything to prove to her.

This didn't make me mad. Annoyed me maybe ... but didn't make me mad.

When there was a moment, I told her that I had compiled a list of affordable rental apartments for her. I had also collected a list of agencies she could call that might be able to help her out with her security deposits. I told her that I wasn't just going to send her out of my office and say "I'm sorry there's nothing more I can do for you" ... but I just couldn't save her house. I was willing to set her up with case management and help her find an apartment.

She threw the paper back in my face.

Then she turned to her son and told her that she was going to send him into foster care. That the reason they couldn't come into this program was because he didn't want to come into it.

She told him this was all his fault.

That's when I started getting angry.

I stopped her and said "Don't you blame this on a 13 year old boy. It's not his fault you can't come in here. First of all, if he leaves .... you have no children and you won't be eligible for the program because it is only for families. And second of all, you're not compatible with the program."

She got right in my face and screamed, "What do you mean I'm not compatible with the program!!!"

In all honestly, I wanted to say because you're a jackass. But instead I said that her primary reason for coming to us was for housing. And that this was not a shelter. She made it quite clear that she just wanted a place that she could stay until she got back on her feet again. Our program is , at minimum, a two year program. It's a comprehensive life program whose goal is self sufficiency. And, considering that she, by her own admission, hadn't worked in 30 years and had no intention of working ... her goal wasn't self sufficiency. Her goal was housing. Hence her goals weren't compatible with the goals of the program.

Then her son started to cry.

And I could literally feel my heart breaking.

This is the part that really pissed me off.

The woman turned to her son and got ready to hit him.

If my eyes could kill, she would have been drawn and quartered. I said "DON'T YOU DARE."

She stopped. And the boy got up to leave.

She started screaming at him, telling him that this was all his fault and that she was going to send him to foster care.

He screamed back that he didn't care anymore. That noone cared about him and about them being homeless ... so he didn't care what happened to him.

The woman turned to me and told me that she WOULD get into this program. That she knew people in high places and that she would have my job. She said that she wanted to speak with my supervisor.

Honestly, I really didn't hear a word she said because all I heard was that little boy saying that he didn't care what happened to him. That he thought noone in the world cared about him.

And it made my blood boil. I was angry because his mom was a trainwreck of humanity. I was angry because I couldn't do anything to help him. I was angry because he was going to be homeless and I promised him that everything would be alright. I was angry because he trusted me and I failed him.

It isn't fair. His life isn't fair. He's only thirteen ... he shouldn't have to deal with all of this. He should be worried about proms and wetdreams. Not mortgages and shelters.

As his mom stormed out of the office in search of someone "higher" than me, I went into my bathroom and cried my eyes out.

I know that everything happens for a reason. And that, if we choose to, we can make the best out of a seemingly hopeless situation.

But explain that to a thirteen year old. Whose whole world is crashing in on him.

And all I can do is sit by and watch the collapse.

Tonight, I'm haunted. I see his tears, his face - I hear his crying and screams over and over again. It's tearing my gut apart.

And I'm angry. Balls-busting angry. Angry that his mom - in all her 56 years on this earth - hasn't learned a damn thing. Not one damn thing. She has wasted her time here.

I am angry that she has this beautiful boy right in front of her ... and she can't even see him. All she sees is what she's had to give up for him. All the things she doesn't have because of him.

She doesn't know that one of the most sacred jobs on this earth is to be a parent. To undertake the responsibility of bringing and guiding new life into this world. Parents are the architects of the future. With their children, they lay the groundwork for what is to come.

She doesn't see that. All she sees is herself.

I had been disgusted with only two people in my entire life. That is, until today. She makes three.

So, I'm asking - and I don't care who or what you believe in, whatever religion, philosophy or spirituality you subscribed to - could you please do me a favor and pray for this boy tonight?

Pray that he makes it through this. Pray that he stays strong. Pray that he turns out alright.

Please pray that, one day, he'll find his way home.

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