Well, I really, really hate it. I tend to only run only when a) large, fiery things fall from the sky or b) someone/thing/sea monster is chasing me.

I guess that's more in category of "fleeing" than actual "running". But, hey. It's all the same to me.

However, at least fleeing has a point. You're trying to get away from something. I never really got the thrill of running. I mean, the cardiovascular benefits aside, running is so overrated. That's why we invented cars ... so we would never have to run again.

Given my extreme distaste for the sport, would you believe that not only am I training to run a 26.2 mile marathon (even typing that makes my lungs hurt) ... but I'm raising $2,200!! dollars so I can run this said marathon in Baltimore.

BALTIMORE, people !?! Do you believe that???

Not Hawaii. Or Ireland. Or Rome. But B-A-L-T-I-M-O-R-E. A place I could drive to in less than an hour ... and STILL don't because I've grown quite attached to being alive and not really big on the whole "bullet ridden" look.

I apologize if I offend anyone who lives in Baltimore ... but the city does scare me a little. I got lost in Baltimore once. Only once. That was enough. Getting lost in Baltimore is much like poking yourself in the eye with a large, carving knife ... not the kind of experience one is eager to repeat.

So, why - Oh Sweet Jesus, why - am I raising MONEY so I can RUN 26.2 miles when I don't even get the benefit of visiting some exotic place or distant country?

Well, there's the obvious answer that I am insane.

But, besides that, I have to admit I have an eternally bleeding heart. I'm suprised the ticker's still pumping with all the blood loss over the years.

I am such a softy. I can't pass up anyone with a jar asking for money. Most of the time, I don't even know what they're asking for money for - and, honestly, I don't even care. It could be "Crack for Kids" for all I know. (Although I really hope not). If you need my help, I'll give it. No questions asked. Or, at least, minimal questions asked.

No charity, no girl scout, no aging veteran - I don't think I've ever passed a one of them up. All you have to do is look at me and - wham - you got me. I'm not really a hard sell.

So, I don't even know what I was thinking when I decided to attend a "Team in Training" information meeting .... just to "see what it was all about". Someone I know had been involved with it and thought I might be interested.

In case you don't know, Team in Training is a program of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Every year, they train people to run a marathon in honor of Leukemia and other blood cancer survivors. The individual agrees to raise a certain amount of money for the Society in exchange for a fully paid trip (lodging, expenses, airfare) to whatever marathon destination they choose. This year the destinations included Ireland, San Fransico, Colorado and, of course, Baltimore.

Even though I had no intention of joining this, I thought it couldn't hurt to see what it was. I thought it was a really good cause and I wanted to support it any way I could (that didn't involve me running, that is).

So, I get there. And, at first, it's all quite benign. A short little informational film. A few speakers. A free t-shirt. Nothing too emotional.

Then, suddenly, they pull out the big guns. They introduce Jordan and his mom. Jordan's only 11 years old. He was diagnosed with Leukemia last year when his mom thought he had a slight case of the flu because his glands were swollen. She took him to the doctors the day before they were to head down the the beach. The doctor assured her it was probably nothing serious. But he ran a few tests just to make sure.

The next day, the doctor called Jordan's mother at the beachhouse. He said that Jordan needed to get to the hospital immediately. He had leukemia and he was sending an ambulance to pick him up.

I looked at this little boy and his mom with tears running down her face - and I instantly melted. I didn't care that I hated to run. I didn't care that I have no idea how to raise money or who to get this said money from. I didn't care about anything but helping that little boy.

So, with tears streaming from my eyes, I signed up. And paid $100 dollars (that I really didn't have) to register. It made things a little tight for a bit. But noone said that doing good would be easy ... or comfortable.

And here I am now. Just finishing my first week of "pre-training". The program hasn't actually started but I need to warm up my body to the idea of excruciating pain and pointless movement. My lungs have not taking kindly to this running thing. Every time I take a step, it feels like they are trying to escape from my body. Don't be surprised if you hear about a marathon runner in Baltimore whose lungs mysteriously jumped from her mouth.

Why did I choose Baltimore? Good question. Because I didn't want this run to be about the destination. I didn't want my motivation to be the place I am running to ... instead I wanted it to be about the people I am running for. So I picked a 50-minute-drive-from-my-house Baltimore. So I'm not raising money to pay for my expenses - because, honestly, there won't be any. I'm raising money for Jordan - and every other child or adult out there like him. It's not much but I know that my $2,200 dollars will help someone, somewhere. A little pain is worth it, I guess. My quadriceps probably wouldn't agree - but they've always been argumentative anyway.

I am open to suggestions. This is my first fundraising experience - and I have no idea where to begin. I went to Borders to read up on the subject - but I became distracted by the wealth of available espresso drinks and assorted pastries. Consequently, I didn't get much done.

You all are always so clever. Always chocked full of dazzling insight and sparkling ingenuity. Any creative ideas or helpful hints would be most appreciated.

And, if you're feeling particulary generous, you can throw a few ice packs my way. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to be needing them.

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