Isn't the man overweight???

Am I the only person who thinks that is insane???

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to knock Dr. Phil. Although he does annoy me from time to time, he also throws out some real nuggets of wisdom on occasion.

But, really ... a DIET plan? That's like making him the spokesperson for styling mousse or designer hairspray. Or asking a blind man what color to paint your house.

And, the real kicker of it is, PEOPLE ARE LISTENING TO HIM. I cannot believe this.

I'm all for following his prescription for domestic tranquility, child rearing, .. hell, even money management. I can see the qualifications he possesses that might enable him to be an authority on those issue. And a voice that I stop and listen to.

But, people, please ...his DIET plan. That has just pushed it a bit too far.

When I think of an icon of good health and weight management, I have to say a balding, chubby, middle-age man is not the first image that pops into my head.

Not that being bald or middle-age has any impact on one's health, mind you. But that extra thirty pounds he's carrying around probably does.

I just don't understand why we (as a population) can be so easily led. Why we want so badly to admire famous people - to raise them to the level of all-knowing gods.

Fame doesn't make you omniscient. It only make you famous.

I don't want J.Lo brokering any middle east peace agreements. I don't want Courtney Love giving my children advice on drug abstinence. And I don't want Dr. Phil telling me how to shape up.

Other than making more money in one year than I will in my entire lifetime, none of them have the authority to take any of those actions.

Except the authority garnered through fame.

It seems fame makes one an expert in every field.

I wish that were true. It would save me money on graduate school. Instead I'd pull a David Blaine and live in a glass box for a month. Then, once everybody knew who I was, I would suddenly have an infinite amount of wisdom on every topic possible.

I could see it now:

Everyone would clamor to buy my new book: "Everything I Needed to Know About Life, I Learned in a Glass Box" ... which would undoubtly hit number one on the New York Time's Best Seller list AND be picked for Oprah's book club. Children would idolize me. Men would stalk me. Women would throw their panties at me. I would have a house in Tuscany right next to Sting and a beach home in Miami sandwiched between Madonna and Gloria Estefan.

I'd make a bathing suit out of $100 dollar bills and prance merrily along the French Riveria eating caviar from little gold and diamond encrusted goblets ...

Okay, I'm getting a little off the intended path here. I went all tangent on you, sorry.

Also I don't even like caviar. I try not to eat anything that erupts from an animal's orifice. Not to mention, prancing and eating at the same time can present a dangerous choking hazard.

Anyway, my point is just because Dr. Phil is famous and rich - that doesn't mean that he knows all the secrets of the universe.

Some of the wisest people in the world have the least in life. Sometimes, all those worldly riches can glitter so brightly - they can be blinding. And can keep you from seeing the real truth.

If you want to know about how to diet successfully, ask a nutritionist or a personal trainer. Ask the neighbor down the street who, without the benefit of a PhD or fancy "Dr. Phil" meal plan bars that cost $3 each, lost one hundred pounds through exercise, healthy eating, and simple determination.

That's the best kind of knowledge ... not the kind that comes from school, or fame, or hosting a talk show ... but experience.

Dr. Phil can occasionally work wonders. But,until he can lose some weight, the only thing his book is good for is to fix the wobble in my kitchen table.

Yeah, Dr. Phil. Eat them apples.

Literally and figuratively.

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