I love saying "thus far". It makes me sound cultured.

The weather was very bizarre. It was pretty mild ... around 50 to 60 degrees (Farenheit). Except it snowed on Christmas day. And was mindblowingly gorgeous. I woke up Christmas morning to a picture postcard blanket of white.

I have to say that Canadians take their drugs and coffee very seriously. There was a Tim Horton's (coffee shop) and Shopper's Drug Mart about every twenty feet. I guess one can never have too many stimulants.

All in all, I had a very lovely time. The best ever in fact. And, the funny part of it is .... we really didn't do much. Jake and I stayed with friends of ours instead of his parents this year.

I learned how to knit. Albeit, badly ... but learned nonetheless.

I love saying "nonetheless". It makes me feel very British.

Yeah, I'm weird.

Also, I had some of the best scones on the planet. Which is saying alot since I am somewhat of a "scone junkie". They're at a grocery store called "No Frills". As the name conveys, it's not exactly the most luxorious grocery mart in the world but they have these fantastic scones that are just to die for. I think I was averaging about six scones per day while I was there.

Thank god I tend to get addictions to things like scones, pumpkin pie and the Learning Channel. This is why I never ventured into hardcore drug use. A scone addiction ran me about $3 dollars a day. Can you imagine, with my lack of self control, what a heroine addiction would run me?

I'd have to start selling my body to cover my drug habit. Which would then lead to a sex addiction. Then, because I would be having sex with strangers on a consistent basis, I would have to visit the doctor frequently. Which would make me into a hypochondriac. Then, because I would be spending all my money on doctors, I would have to resort to playing slots to try to increase my income. Which would lead to a gambling addiction. Then because I would lose all my money gambling, I wouldn't have any money to buy heroine. Which would make me go through withdrawals.

Then I'd think the walls are melting and that Satan lives in my closet.

Which, come to think of it, isn't too far off from my normal mental state. But I digress.

I guess the moral of the story is don't do drugs. Just eat pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie doesn't make your walls melt.

Oh yeah, I was talking about scones originally.

I don't know what they're called because the label was in French. I try to avoid speaking French. Mainly because I don't know the language but secondly (and most important) even if I did speak French, I know I would sound stupid.

If National Lampoon and Chevy Chase have taught me nothing else, it's that Americans sound stupid when they try to speak French.

Anyway, if you're in Canada and see some mighty tasty looking scones with a French label - snatch up those buggers. But don't forget to pay for them. No one wants to get caught for shoplifting scones. You'd be the laughing stock of the jail.

This entry is turning into a public service announcement. It's just chocked full of morals and ethics.

And I haven't even cussed yet.

Dammit. :)

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