It's weird ... because I really should be happy - but I'm not.

I had something exceptionally good happen to me today. It made me proud of myself because I accomplished something that I never thought I would.

I would tell you what it is but it wouldn't make much sense to you. It's the feelings behind it that count.

I rarely miss people. I mean, I do miss people but, rarely, profoundly miss people.

Today I did.

I missed my Uncle Constatine because he had a way of making me feel like everything I did was genius. That every success of mine was unparalled.

Ever set a goal for yourself that you thought you would never reach ... and then you did? Like finally getting that high school diploma or, even more monumental, after a very bad accident, learning to walk again???

When it's far away, it's seems impossible. But, despite that, you try. Every day, you try. Because, even if you don't make it, you have to at least make the attempt.

Well, today, I made it. I achieved something - even though I always hoped -a little part of me doubted that I ever would.

A little part of me was scared that I would fail.

But I didn't. I succeeded. And, for some reason, I wanted the world to erupt in applause.

But, from the outside, it seemed like something very small. Not very applause worthy, I guess. Something so excruciatingly ordinary.

What they didn't know was the journey. What it took to go from point A to point B. And all the steps in between.

The days when I didn't want to get out of bed. The nights when I cried myself to sleep. And, all the times in the middle, when I was just tired.

They didn't experience all the moments when I wanted nothing more than to give up.

But I charged on. Even though, at times, I doubted myself. Even when the last thing on earth I wanted to do was to go forward because, more than anything, I just wanted to rest.

To lay my head down and rest.

The world didn't know the courage it took to achieve what I did today.

And how could it? My life is my own personal collection of moments. Most people don't get the behind the scenes footage. What may seem ordinary to the outside world .. is extraordinary to me.

So, to anyone whose felt a little sad because maybe people didn't respond to your successes like you thought they would, like you thought you deserved:

I'm proud of you.

For getting that diploma at 26, even when you thought you were too old for school.

For raising those kids even though you were just a kid yourself.

For standing strong while your world seemed dark.

For choosing to fight for who and what you believed in instead of hiding yourself away.

For not giving up.

I AM PROUD OF YOU.

You did good. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

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