But Jake said it was just the flu.

Okay, so maybe I was a little melodramatic about the whole thing. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. I think it's due to my obsession with the Learning Channel. Way too much knowledge. Did you know that there are dust mites that live in the carpet and eat the skin we shed?

Ewwww.

That is gross on so many levels.

It's not just plain "ewwww". It's Ewwwww with a bag of chips.

Unless you're an avid Rikki Lake watcher like I was (back in the early years ... before she sold out) ... you might not get the "bag of chips" line. But that's even cooler. Because then I have an inside joke. Inside jokes make me feel superior because that means I have knowledge not accessible to the general public.

It's like I belong to a really exclusive club. The kind that has an exceptionally mean doorman and one of those red velvet ropes. And people stand in lines for hours in the freezing cold just to get rejected because they're considered too short, too fat, too poor, or too ulgy to enter.

It's like that only completely different. Without the doorman, or long lines, or the snotty discrimination policies.

And I hate red velvet.

Unless it's a red velvet smoking jacket. Or an Elvis painting. For some reason, in both those cases, red velvet seems appropriate.

Okay, as you can tell, I'm obviously still delirious from the flu. It's been a rough couple of weeks. All I have to say is thank god for Kleenex with lotion. Whoever is responsible for the mass production of those babies has become my personal God. If I ever find out who it is, I'll build an altar and everything.

It doesn't take much to impress me. Or demand my adoration. I'll worship a big, green elephant in the sky if it keeps my nose from getting all dried and crackily.

And let's not even get into what I would do for the person who invented chapstick.

But don't worry. I am definitely on the mend. I'm feelng much, much better. I even returned to Jazzercise yesterday.

Yes, I know. How '80's of me. The people in my research lab constantly tease me that I go to Jazzercise. But then again, look at the source. One girl was on the synchronized swimming team in high school AND college. The other person played the bell in the school band.

Yes, I did say "bell". As in one, unitary bell.

Enough said.

Well, I should head off to bed. Gotta crazy world to face tomorrow. I need all the rest I can get.

Stay warm and try to dream in color.

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